Best Dating Page On Instagram
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You may not believe me, but here's the truth: Instagram is the new Tinder.
The New York Times has declared that the social media giant has transcended its status as a mere photo sharing app and now functions as an unofficial dating platform as well. Don’t trust this bit of “fake” news? Take it from Jessica, a 24-year-old New Yorker, whose current beau approached her at the restaurant where she works, asked for her Instagram handle and then retreated to the bathroom where he slid into her DMs, in order to tell her she looked like a famous person.
Why this sultry man opted to deliver his opener via DM instead of in person is a question we may never resolve. But his choice illustrates how Instagram works as a bridge between dating apps and in-person meetings, a sort of virtual safety net that pads the abrasive possibility of hitting on someone and getting rejected.
'I think it’s a way more effective way to get dates than Tinder,' Jessica says, 'because an Instagram account gives a much better idea of the person up front than a dating profile. Your interest and attraction is actually based on something going into the date, so it all feels more deliberate.'
Post to Instagram Stories. It’s no secret that the ‘Stories’ features which appear at the top of your Instagram feed get the most action. Caption your photos, add a video for more engagement and you’ll rank higher on the dating totem pole than solely posting updates. Start commenting on their posts and add the heart emoticon. Badoo, a London-headquartered dating site has been on the rise, after recently acquiring LuLu, an app that lets women anonymously rate men. Their best post, and overall voice on Instagram appeals to the aspirational user base of the platform. It shows an artsy couple embracing on an empty street on a fall day. The photo post had over 600 likes. Leveraging Instagram to enhance introductions we’ve made IRL and to make new online connections that are more organic than a swipe has the potential to reignite the fun and the humanity in a digital dating scene that often feels stale, scripted and impersonal. Yes, Instagram is a two-dimensional photoshopped highlight reel of people’s lives.
She continues: 'I once went on a Tinder date with this guy and it went great. We followed each other on Insta after, but when he started watching my stories, he stopped responding to my texts. I warned him I was extra when we met! If we had connected through Instagram instead of Tinder, we wouldn’t have wasted that time.'
The moral being: If you can’t handle the heat, don’t go into the kitchen in the first place.
Like Jessica, Mike, a 25-year-old fitness influencer, has deleted his dating apps because he prefers getting dates on Instagram. (He is currently on a temporary Instagram detox, but “might slide into my DMs when he reactivates.') Mike mostly connects with women outside of his network through a combination of sliding into the DMs of intriguing women with similar interests to him, and receiving DMs commending him on his sick parkour videos.
Mike is an anomaly in his ability to consistently convert “cold call DMs” to strangers into IRL dates (which can probably be attributed to said sick parkour videos). While this can and does happen, the odds of a DM resulting in more than just a shout into the void are far higher when you at least vaguely know your DM-ee.
Whether it be a former kind-of-flame, a friend of a friend or that guy with the hella-good hair from art history class you shared a few deep-cut Botero jokes with five years ago, Instagram keeps anyone who has intrigued you on your radar, and vice versa.
So you want to venture into some ‘gram dating? You want to spark a dormant crush, or maybe meet some random ass drummer who doesn’t even live in your city for a tryst in Tuscaloosa (something I have definitely never done)?
Here are a few best practices.
First, look inviting. Take a gander at your account. If you look at all capable of homicide, or if your main picture is a blurry close up of a bloodshot eyeball, change it. It doesn’t matter if you’re just really into Korn: if you’re going to do some rando DM-ing, set your profile to public. No one will respond if they can’t tell who you are.
Next, embrace the long game and start building Insta-rapport with your person (or persons) of interest. Think of Instagram as a middle school sock hop, a space for you to engage in an ongoing dance of digital flirting, punctuated by deep likes (when you like someone’s photo from months or even years ago, as an indicator of interest), thirst traps (when you post a cute selfie or piece of content with the specific intention of eliciting a response from your Insta-crush) DM sliding and sweat droplet emojis. The general moves are already there, and things might get a little awkward, but it’s up to you to put your personal flare on the choreography and see what works.
When it comes to the pivotal DM slide, it’s all about how you hit it. Avoid opening with a comment on physical appearance. Instead, try offering a specific and substantive comment on something they’ve just posted, or ask a question that might be engaging to them based on their interests. In short, treat your person of interest like a person of interest.
And finally, don’t overthink it—just say something. Maybe they’ll be totally flattered; maybe they just won’t respond. But you won’t know unless you slide, and when it comes to claiming agency in your dating life, doing something is better than doing nothing.
What’s unique about Instagram as a dating tool is that it supplements and complements real life relationships while also providing the opportunity to connect with new people—via who we follow and the hashtags and locations we search and use—who may share your interests and aspirations. Ironically, Instagram dating is often about more than just looks. Without the security of the mutual match, Instagram rescues the exciting uncertainty that the you’re-here-I’m-here-we-matched-yolo dating app culture has robbed us of. It requires that we put in just a little more effort, that we take just a little bit more of a risk and give just a little bit more of a fuck.
Leveraging Instagram to enhance introductions we’ve made IRL and to make new online connections that are more organic than a swipe has the potential to reignite the fun and the humanity in a digital dating scene that often feels stale, scripted and impersonal. Yes, Instagram is a two-dimensional photoshopped highlight reel of people’s lives. Yes, it’s a curated illusion. But dream with me, people: I’m here. You’re here. Yolo. It’s better than Tinder. And isn’t it all just an illusion?
By Brianna HoltSpecial Projects Deputy Editor
Best Dating Page On Instagram 2020
Since the launch of Tinder in 2012, dating apps have entirely changed the way we pursue love interests and navigate romantic situations. The days of meeting someone at church or going to bars to pick up possible suitors are not completely gone, but they are numbered. Hitting on a stranger in person is, in many places, no longer viewed as socially acceptable. Meanwhile, thanks to diverse users on apps, singles have more direct access to love interests of different racial and ethnic backgrounds, which has caused a spike in interracial dating.
Best Dating Page On Instagram
But while dating apps have positively impacted the romance landscape for many of us, social media platforms like Twitter and Instagram might be better for vetting.
From computer screen to phone screen
Long before Tinder, in 1994, there was Kiss.com. Match.com started a year later, making online dating the new strategy for coupling up. The early dating websites, which required users to set up profiles and sometimes answer hundreds of questions about themselves, created a personal and intimate experience between two strangers like never before. The downside: oftentimes the sites required paid memberships, and matches were based on similarities in profiles rather than freedom of choice. Then came personal ads on Craigslist, where anyone could post a listing, free of charge, and publicize themselves as available. The phenomenon was short-lived after the rise of catfishing and the infamous Craigslist Killer scandal, as finding love in an online marketplace didn’t allow much room for proper screening.
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Tinder, the first dating app to present the swipe and double opt-in feature, created a new era of dating, solving many of the problems online daters ran into before. Location-based, easy to join, and free of charge, Tinder became the obvious go-to in online pursuits. While it’s still the most downloaded dating app, responsible for nearly 2 billion swipes a day, Tinder isn’t the best app for evaluating a potential partner. Yes, you’re allowed 500 characters to describe yourself in your bio, but the app has adopted a norm, especially for men, of having little to no bio. Other dating apps like Hinge and Bumble have features to help users decide if someone is actually compatible with them. Hinge suggests “most compatible” pairings to users daily, and requires everyone to pick three questions to answer about themselves. Bumble puts the ball in the woman’s court, meaning men can’t get away with cringey bios and scant information if they want to receive a message.
Cognitive swiping and evaluating
Whether you use dating apps, dating websites, matchmakers, or good old-fashioned recommendations from friends, you’re almost always cognitively swiping on people, especially on social media.
Twitter and Instagram were created for social networking, not romance. It isn’t surprising, though, that people are meeting on these platforms, where casual stalking will teach you a lot about someone you don’t know, connecting based on similarities is more common, and flirting can be demonstrated through likes.
You can learn a lot about someone’s interests and political views through the content they share and favorite on platforms like Twitter and Instagram. On Twitter, we mostly find new people to follow when their tweets are retweeted onto our timeline by someone we already follow. It’s safe to say the tweet has a better-than-average chance of resonating with you since it already has been filtered by somebody else in your network.
Instagram is a bit more curated, but still has its usefulness for would-be daters. Users can form a sense of someone’s personality and interests by watching their stories, typically a more lucid statement than a posted image. Tagged photos also reveal moments that don’t always make the grid, giving you a more in-depth look at someone’s personal life.
Facebook, on the other hand, is normally reserved for connecting with people you already know. The more-personal platform is usually private; friend requests typically aren’t made between absolute strangers. But on Twitter and Instagram, a stranger following you doesn’t feel like a breach of privacy because information on those platforms is designed to circulate more freely.
Scrolling through a potential partner’s tweets or Instagram posts is arguably a mild form of stalking. But a public profile is fair game these days. A 2019 study conducted by WhoIsHostingThis.com found that 79% of people looked up their matches on social media before meeting them in person, while 57% friended or followed their matches on social media before meeting in person.
Social media apps allow us to form opinions about our love interests that can’t be determined as easily on dating apps. We may not always be correct in our stance, but it does save us time and potentially creates safer dating scenarios. When someone has a Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram account, it provides us with a list of mutual friends—another indication that this person is who they claim to be and we could ask someone about them, if we’re bold enough.
A few times, I’ve matched with people on dating apps that I had already been following on Instagram or Twitter—and because they were already within my periphery, I felt both safer and more obligated to set a date with them, versus with a complete stranger who could fabricate their background.
In conclusion, I’ll probably continue to keep my dating apps until I find my soulmate, but I doubt I’ll meet that person there. Auspiciously, I believe they’re already out there, being followed online by a few of my friends already, waiting for me to stumble across their posts.