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MadameNoire Featured Video
After a certain age, many women date in the hopes of securing a long-term relationship; but what about the women who date simply for fun? Is this wise or a waste of time?
If you asked me a couple of years ago, I would have told you that it’s most definitely a waste of time. Spending countless hours with a person and knowing that it may never manifest into anything but “fun” didn’t really sound like much fun to me. As a person who hates to waste time or have my time wasted, I wasn’t sold on the idea.
But recently I started to question whether or not it was really that bad of an idea to just date; not date with an endgame or a wedding dress in the back of my mind, but date in order to get to know someone and have fun with them. Date someone I could never have seen myself in a committed relationship with just a few months ago.
Could I do it?
It’s a complicated question with an even more complicated answer.
Dating should be fun. And every date doesn’t need to end in thoughts of matrimony. Dates are a time to get to know a person, have a good time, and see if anything can come from the connection. But some women take the fun out of dating by taking every date too seriously too soon. We’ve been going about the dating game all wrong. Most of us don’t like to go on dates with a man we can’t see ourselves marrying, but the thing is, you never know how things will play out with certain people until you give them a chance.
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I was one of those women who looked at every date as my introduction to Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong. I was not going to waste my time hanging out with a man I couldn’t see myself with for the long term. But one day, out of sheer boredom, I took a friend up on an offer to go on a blind date. Surprisingly, I became instant friends with the guy I was set up with. After that date, we spent nearly every day together and had a lot of fun; but we also knew that our situationship would never make it past the dating stage. Despite our relationship compatibility, or lack thereof, that didn’t stop us from spending most of our free time together. Was this a bad decision? In the beginning, I would say no. But eventually, once my feelings got involved, it definitely ended up feeling like a waste of time, energy, and emotions.
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But dating with “fun” in mind doesn’t always have to end so negatively. Sometimes you find yourself creating memories you won’t forget; and sometimes you find yourself inadvertently meeting your Mr. Right.
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What is one to do?
On the one hand, as long as the two of you are on the same page and thoroughly enjoy each other’s company, then why not? If you’re okay with that and know that you’re just looking to enjoy yourself and the company of someone else, date and be merry. But on the other hand, know that if you treat your uncommitted situation like it’s a real commitment and forget that you are a single woman who should still date other single men you might be even more compatible with, then this way of dating may not be fore you. The fun will only be temporary, and it might even turn into pain. Know yourself, know what it is you really want and act accordingly.
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